Peer Review Draft Essay #3
Here is my revised review after finding my pros and my cons from my peers. I also posted my peer evaluation form next to the essay.
123-osuji1peer-group-evaluation-essay-3
Here is my revised review after finding my pros and my cons from my peers. I also posted my peer evaluation form next to the essay.
123-osuji1peer-group-evaluation-essay-3
May 6, 2008 at 1:55 am
Written Peer Response
Essay writer’s name Kingsley Osuji Peer’s name Nicholas King
Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.
*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.
I was confused at first with the terminology but then it was described.
2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?
YES What do you see as that purpose?
Explaining something that most people do not understand
*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?
DJ’s or anybody that is into hip-hop.
4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject?
This is described to teenagers that would have an interest in becoming a DJ.
5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.
a. Specific terminology that would interest the target
b. Format as a descriptive advertisement
*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here.
Explaining a inexpensive quality program
Is the thesis specific enough? YES If not, make suggestions for narrowing the focus.
*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay.
Par. 1 YES
Par. 2 YES
Par. 3 YES
Par. 4 YES
*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment:
Yes
*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.
a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? SOMEWHAT
Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:
Some facts were too specific that most people would not know about.
b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant?
YES If not, explain here:
c. Is the information understandable to you? YES Comment:
the only reason I understand some of this essay is because the terms are described.
d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? YES
List terms that need to be defined here:
10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)?
Par. Why?
*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.
a. What person or persons were interviewed?
b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.
c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)
first hand
d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?
12. Does the introduction
a. Get readers’ attention? YES
b. Present the thesis? YES
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? YES
d. Comments:
13. Does the conclusion
a. Remind you of what has been said? YES
b Provide something new to think about? YES
c. Round the essay off smoothly? YES
d. Comments: